Introduction
Conflict Management in Congregations is the outcome of the Alban Institute’s deep interest in congregational conflict. David Lott compiled this volume by bringing together articles from various field researchers, each exploring conflict in different cultural contexts. He divides the book into three parts: the dynamics of conflict, conflict management techniques, and dealing with conflict in special contexts.
Summary
Conflict Management in Congregations is a collection of various published articles and monographs compiled into one volume. It is divided into three sections: the dynamics of conflict, conflict management techniques, and dealing with conflict in specific contexts.
In the first part of the book, six chapters discuss the definition of conflict, the five different levels of conflict, methods to resolve conflicts within the church, behaviors and patterns that trigger conflict, and the process of managing conflict.
In the second part, the author addresses the effects of trying to please the congregation, working through defensiveness and the brooding phase. This section also highlights the importance of settling past conflicts by neutralizing history. Additionally, the need for using caring language is emphasized. This part includes an article on conflict between a pastor and a congregation, and in the final article of this section, the author encourages a direct approach when dealing with conflict.
In the final part of the book, another six chapters focus on conflict management in mixed cultural settings. These chapters deal with racial issues in the church. The author also discusses the differences between Western perspectives on conflict and Indian and African perspectives. In the last chapter, the author presents his understanding of the Chinese mediation system.
Evaluation
At the very beginning of this book, behaviors at five different levels of conflict are observed. The first two levels of conflict are easier to handle, but the third, fourth, and fifth levels are very difficult. In the first level of conflict, the parties stay focused on the problem; they don’t panic but tend to work toward solving it. In the second level, people become self-protective—the problem becomes secondary to them. In the third level, it becomes more about winning the conflict. The fourth level is about getting rid of the other, e.g., through divorce. The fifth level is the worst, where people begin to act like God, wanting the opposite party to be eradicated from the earth.
These observations of different conflict levels help readers reflect on their own weaknesses when it comes to conflict. It reminds them not to escalate to the third, fourth, or fifth levels. I reflect that focusing on solving the conflict is always the most important thing. One should be alert not to fall into the trap of trying to win or having extremely negative and destructive fantasies about the other party. Instead, they should think about resolution. Solving the problem is the way forward. Thus, these observations help a reader reflect on their ways of dealing with conflict.
I understand that this is the very purpose of the book Conflict Management—to teach us methods to avoid conflict and be equipped to help others change their approach to it. However, it would have been better if this book had addressed conflict in the context of husband and wife relationships. In my observation, marriage conflicts are among the most sensitive to handle in a church context. If the book had included helpful methods for addressing marital conflict, it would have served as a great tool in such cases.
This book further encourages collaborative decision-making, where the majority agrees. If the collaborative method doesn’t work, then negotiation is encouraged. However, if both fail, voting or official decision-making is suggested. In my understanding, the voting option may not always be fair, as one party may gain an unfair advantage due to their influence over others. I think the best decision can come from an official leader of the organization who is unbiased. Such a person can think about what is best for the organization in a conflicting situation. Thus, voting may not always be the right solution.
The book also highlights the conflict between church ownership and leadership roles. According to the book, there tends to be less conflict when both leadership and members share ownership of decisions about the pastor’s role. However, I think this may not apply in all cultural contexts. In some settings, the congregation may not be spiritually mature enough, and giving them authority over pastoral responsibilities could sabotage the church’s mission. Pastoral leadership in decision-making should be encouraged. Biblically, pastoral leadership is appointed by God (Ephesians 4:11).
One helpful section in this book addresses congregational conflict and complaints. According to the author, we should aim for faithfulness rather than happiness. He explains that we can’t fix everyone’s complaints in the church. I agree when he writes that “when we make appropriate decisions for our faith community that only affirm what we already do and already appreciate, then we constrain the movement of the Spirit of God” (Chapter 7). The author strongly states that the pursuit of congregational happiness is not only difficult but damaging to the ministry. According to him, we can’t satisfy every demand of the congregation—it disrupts the balance of the church system. Instead, church leaders should seek to understand their congregations better.
I believe this perspective is very important. Ministers can learn to avoid trying to solve every issue in the congregation. In the Northern Indian church context, this is a common scenario—pastors are constantly busy fixing conflicts, often without realizing how much energy this consumes. The focus of the church is lost when a pastor operates this way. It eventually hinders the move of God and blocks church growth. Pastoral leadership should not revolve around keeping everyone happy, as it may hinder God’s agenda for the church. However, there should always be room to listen to complaints. We shouldn’t ignore them, but as the author says, we must learn to diagnose the cause of the reaction rather than rush to solve it. We need to learn to “unhook the system.”
The book also mentions three leading authorities—Wayne Oates, Peter Steinke, and Lloyd Rediger—and their helpful discussions on defensiveness. According to these researchers, people may become defensive when they perceive someone’s anger or criticism as a personal attack, which can block important feedback. I find this insight very helpful. Many people are not consciously aware of their defensive responses to criticism, so this research helps readers reflect on their own reactions.
Additionally, this section provides a useful example from Roman Catholic contemplative writer Henri Nouwen. He explains how a defensive response to criticism can lead to emotional and spiritual harm. It can interrupt peace of mind and cause a temporary loss of perspective. Henri calls it “a deep, morose mood.” This article also connects defensiveness with the brooding phase, during which a person might blame themselves excessively, obsess over the confrontation, and even fantasize about those who hurt them being harmed. I think this is a very real tendency. When people experience conflict, they can quickly spiral into anger and resentment. If not dealt with, these emotions can lead to harmful fantasies—and in extreme cases, those fantasies can manifest in actions.
Therefore, we must address this negative phase quickly. The author rightly suggests physical activity and prayer—looking unto the Lord—as ways to overcome it. I highly recommend these tools for dealing with the brooding phase. They are effective. However, I believe this book, overall, lacks sufficient biblical examples of how to handle conflict. Even in this section, a biblical foundation is missing. For example, consider the story of Joseph in Genesis 37. His brothers plotted to kill him and threw him into a pit. Yet Joseph did not take revenge. Despite the conflict, he survived, rose to power, and forgave his brothers. His destiny was under threat, but he trusted God and never acted in vengeance. This biblical example offers a powerful model for managing defensiveness and the brooding phase. Submitting to God’s principles and trusting Him will help us overcome conflict.
The book concludes by highlighting the Alban Institute’s examination of alternative dispute resolution techniques practiced in the People’s Republic of China. According to the research, the Chinese community mediation system is rooted in ancient traditions and has become an important part of their national legal framework. Mediation is preferred over litigation and is based on a value system that deeply respects family, especially elders. This system emphasizes harmony.
However, American culture works differently, emphasizing privacy, individual rights, and collective rights. The author suggests that Chinese-style mediation could be applied in Western congregations. But I assume that this method may not work in many situations. A party that has been seriously harmed may not agree to resolve the conflict based solely on a pursuit of harmony. In cases of abusive conflict, mediation might be impossible. Whether in the Western or Asian context, I believe this method only works in mild conflicts. Mediation may not be helpful in serious or abusive cases where one party has been deeply harmed—there would be no room for negotiation or harmony.
Conclusion
The book Conflict Congregation Management provides helpful steps and methods to resolve conflicts. The various articles enable readers to reflect and gain insights into handling conflict effectively. As a reader, I was particularly able to reflect and learn more about conflict resolution through the section on defensiveness and the brooding phase. I would especially recommend others to read this section.However, the book lacks a strong biblical perspective on conflict management, which could have added more depth. Additionally, the repetition of ideas disrupts the reader’s interest, and the collection of different articles in one volume affects the overall flow of reading. Despite these shortcomings, the book still offers valuable methods that can serve as useful tools for conflict resolution. It can equip individuals to respond appropriately in challenging and conflicting situations.
